A Bad Day

Hi Evryone,

Yesterday we talked about daily routines and having a bad day. We watched a video and observed a man and woman and their daily routines, which were quite similar.

So, what is a routine? It’s a daily activity, the normal order and way in which you regularly do things. Some examples are brushing your teeth nightly; getting ready for bed; waking up at 6am and exercising every morning; buying a bagel and reading there paper before work; and eating popcorn while watching Netflix.

Some benefits might be reducing stress; keeping you healthy; improved productivity; and greater consistency. Some disadvantages might be boredom; limited flexibility; reduced creativity; and risk of burnout.

We shared some of our morning routines, which included getting the kids to the bus; making breakfast; doing some yoga; and swimming. We looked at the image below and discussed what was going on, and some possible solutions –

In pairs, we brainstormed things that can go wrong on a typical morning – waking up late; raining and forgetting your umbrella; losing the keys/phone/wallet; spilling breakfast on a nice white shirt.

Next we watched this video, without sound first, and made notes about the woman’s day and the man’s day. Take a look here:

After watching we reviewed the daily routines of both the man and the woman. We next took a look at the lyrics of the song Bad Day by Daniel Pouter.

Where is the moment we needed the most?
You kick up the leaves, and the magic is lost
You tell me your blue sky’s faded to gray
You tell me your passion’s gone away
And I don’t need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life’s been way off line
You fall into pieces every time
And I don’t need no carrying on

Because you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me, “Don’t lie”
You work at a smile, and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down, and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don’t need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me, “Don’t lie”
You work at a smile, and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day

(Ooh, on a holiday)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing, it turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well, oh, that strong
And I’m not wrong (yeah, yeah)

So where was the passion when you need it the most?
Oh, you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

‘Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel one more time?
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

We talked about the lyrics and the meaning of some of the lines. Most of us recognize this song. Here are some of the lines from the song that we discussed:

1. They tell me your blue sky’s faded to gray. They tell me your passion’s gone away.

2. You stand in the line just to hit a new low. You’re faking a smile with the coffee to go.

3. You tell me your life’s been way off line. You’re falling to pieces every time.

4. Sometimes the system goes on the blink. And the whole thing, it turns out wrong.

Next, we turned things around and thought about a perfect morning or perfect day, and then we shared our thoughts with each other.

Lastly, we talked about our routines during the pandemic – how they changed and how they didn’t. What new routines we adopted, and what we dropped. Some we are going to keep, like grocery shopping on line. Some we are going to drop, like online exercise class since we can head back to the gym now.

We took a fast look at this article that was in the New York Times “The Pandemic Helped Me Realize How Essential My Routines Are” read it here:

RESILIENCE

The Pandemic Helped Me Realize How Essential My Routines Are

By setting routines for myself, I was able to shield myself from chaos. Then the pandemic happened. I set out to get them back on track.

By Jason Diamond

April 19, 2021

This article is part of a series on resilience in troubled times — what we can learn about it from history and personal experiences.

I was laid off in December. I can’t say I wasn’t anticipating it. Everything was falling apart everywhere, including the media world. But when it happened, the first thing I worried about — before questions of how I’d make money or what I’d do about insurance — was if I’d lose the routine that I had developed, lost, and then worked so hard to get back.

We all had our routines before the pandemic, and so many of them were upended. Just about any personal routine, if it wasn’t halted outright, changed somehow, from the mundane to the essential. The older man I used to see slowly savoring an espresso every day at the coffee shop had to take it in a to-go cup and drink it outside. Until lockdown, a friend had gone uptown to see his parents every Sunday morning, but had to stop. Children stopped going to school and much of the work force stopped going to offices. Trying to maintain a routine was difficult enough with the world feeling as if it was going to pieces; trying to set new ones without any clear indication of what the future held felt downright impossible.

Life is a series of routines. We go to sleep, we wake, we work, we play. But for some, routines and rituals help us function against the chaos of the world, and in many cases, our minds. Some minds just aren’t made for routines; that’s why I’ve had to work extra hard and discipline myself to live and work a certain way.

At some point, by chance, I started to realize that the more I implemented boundaries and schedules — waking and eating and meditating at specific times, working out, writing down the next day’s schedule — the more I started to feel not only some control, but also happiness. By setting routines for myself, I was able to shield myself from chaos.

For me, I thought the reward was peace of mind. What I didn’t realize was I was also giving myself other little trophies: If I went to the gym five days every week, there was a little voice in my head that would say “You’ve earned two slices of pizza.” When I’d clean the house on Sunday morning, I’d always crack open a beer by afternoon. And sometimes you aren’t even conscious of the rewards you’re giving yourself for routine, and I find those are the most important ones. With those rewards, I’m being good to myself, telling myself I did something, so I earned something.

Equally important — and perhaps more challenging — is maintaining your routines. So, while writing down appointments is important, reminding myself to wake up at a certain time, to meditate, my 1 p.m. work and phone break are the acts of reminding myself where the calm waters are going to be in what could turn out to be a rough sea.

But sometimes, outside forces overwhelm the ability to maintain. After five years of consistent routines, the pandemic hit. The first day working from home, my routine fell apart. We were told it would be a week, then two, then next month, then late summer, then maybe after Thanksgiving. Sooner or later we’d go back to the office, maybe. I started sleeping in later; when the gym closed, I had to figure out a new way to work out; and as every little thing I’d considered part of a normal day for me started to go away, I didn’t realize how depressed I was.

By the time I started lifting myself out of my depression, realizing that I was going to have to learn to adapt, it was autumn. There was still no office or gym or place I could go to safely see people in person and talk to them. I avoided my therapist for months because I felt awkward doing sessions on Zoom. I’d skip morning meditation from time to time. I’d would open and eat a bag of chips in a few minutes. It was the kind of spiraling I thought I had figured out how to correct.

Then, one morning, I pulled out one of my old journals to see what I’d done right in the past. I had notes about what in my routine worked and what didn’t, how drinking coffee at certain times made me feel more anxious or how checking Twitter before 8 a.m. almost always put me in a bad mood. I had left myself little reminders in case I got lost.

Then I got the Slack message that I was needed in a meeting with an H.R. person. I knew what was coming next.

Obviously I was feeling all of those things one feels when they lose a job. It hurt. My finances were going to take a hit. The one main channel of communication I had with anybody besides my wife was cut off. But I realized there was nothing I could do besides pick myself up and start making out my schedule for the next day. Tomorrow, and every single day after that, my routine and rituals were in my hands only. And nobody could take that from me.

Jason Diamond’s most recent book is “The Sprawl.”

That’s it! Thanks for contributing and participating! Have a great weekend and remember to relax and practice!

Take a stroll around town and see all the beautiful blooms!